Mexican Cloning Chamber

March 16, 2009

I stumbled across a secret chamber at the Frederick Lowes Men’s bathroom.  Usually I feel low class when acting upon a #2 in such a vile place, but today I stumbled across a secret genetics laboratory, the sign etched on the wall said so: “Mexican Cloning Chamber:. 0316091943

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With the new arrival of our Maryland tax return, Ashley and I have gone on a quest to find a new couch.  Currently we have the silliest couch ever made, the Super Sofa.  It has a fold out tray, built in massage, heating, hidden hubbies everywhere, and now thanks to us, it has the familiar faint scent of cat pee.  I loved this couch.

While looking for our new fancy family room ride we visited Marlo, Ashley, and Wolf’s.  We eventually made our final purchase at Wolf’s Furniture, however the other two stores frantically stalked us as we shopped.  Ashley and I would try out a sofa while the salesperson joined us, “So do you like this one?” “How about this one?”  “This one is new!” “This one has microfiber!”  “Did you see one you liked?”  Occasionally we would manage to wiggle away from them only to see them floating around behind us conveniently organizing pillows.

So today we go to pick up our new adult-style sofa.  So long Super Sofa.

Want more exciting news about the Henley family room make-over?  Check out Ashley’s blog: http://theriperadish.wordpress.com/2009/02/12/family-room-additions/

Tax Cut

February 6, 2009

Last was the Henley tax-night.  I didn’t realize that the Tax Cut software is only good for the year in which you purchased it.  At around 10PM I made a Wal-Mart run where I saw the old lady with all the squash like buds all over her body, too bad for her.

When using Tax Cut, the top right of the screen displays what your return (or how much you owe) will be.  This number changes as you enter more information.  I started off owing about $70, then it was $600, then $1400, I was unenthused.  So I kept telling Tax Cut more financial secrets about me, and after a while it must have heard a secret that it really liked, my owing $1400 gradually changed into about $4900 returned.  This is significantly more then we got back last year so I hope that I didn’t inadvertently tell some tall tales.

iPhoto ’09

January 7, 2009

While in the McDonalds Drive-Through yesterday I experienced some embarrassingly low technology. Being the cheapskate I am, I attempted to give the cashier a handful of quarters along with my credit card. The cashier told me he can’t do both cash and credit. It’s now 2009, and McDonalds can’t handle multiple payment options.

On the flip side Apple has added face recognition and GPS tagging to iPhoto ’09. The Lord Jesus Christ has possessed the new iPhoto with his holiness. You can now tell iPhoto what one of your friends looks like and iPhoto will automatically look through your other photos and find your friends for you. iPhoto sideshow’s now use face recognition to center faces and crop your photos for more professional looking sideshows.

Also iPhoto now syncs with Facebook and Flickr. Once photos are posted on Facebook, any extra tagging that occurs will filter back through to your iPhoto.

I used up the rest of my iTunes money and bought the Neil Diamond Essentials, I’ll be rocking out today.

Hanukkah

December 23, 2008

So I celebrated Hanukkah last night.  Ashley’s mom is Jewish (emphasis on the “ish”).  Her parents gave us each $200 that were were forced to spend on happy things.  Promptly after dinner we took the money to the mall.  This was no joke, we had to cover as much ground as possible in a short time, so we parted ways.  You might think that blowing $200 is easy, it stressed me out.  I thought about buying a PSP or an X-Box, but I don’t have time to take on another gaming system.  To make a long story short, I got a gray North Face jacket from Nordstroms, and Ashley got some sexy jeans and accessories.

For whatever the reason, Roscoe forgot then when he’s here, he’s supposed to poop outside.  When I take him out, he just gets confused and wants to bumble around and sniff.  20 minutes go by in the freezing cold, he just sniffs.  So like a little puppy I took treats out to reward him when he finally went, so pitiful.

The Pillars of the Earth is getting good.  Tom’s wife just bled to death after giving birth and Tom freaked out and left the baby for dead.  I especially liked when that woman showed up and randomly had sex with him while he was resting from his baby-leaving adventure.  When I left off, he proposed to her, now to find out what’s up with that…