Run in with the Po-Po

November 3, 2008

Halloween night, my wife and I were driving through Delaware on our vacation to see Zac and Mira Make a Porno. It was a fun movie, but that’s not what’s on my mind. On the way to the theater, I had an run-in with the po-po. I was screaming down the nighttime public streets, pushing more than 15mph past the legal limit, and worse yet, I didn’t use my turn signal. The po-po was on my trail, I was had. After pulling me over, he asked me a bunch of jackass questions about why did I exceed the speed limit and not use my turn signal, which I assumed were rhetorical questions. My wife was happy that I got nabbed, since my lack of signaling always urks her so. He then explained his zero-tolerance on not using turn signals. Why are cops so gay. (And I don’t mean in the homophobic use of the word). They dress gay, they act gay, one big pile of gay.

The uniform: big boots, handsome utility belt, , fancy hat, it just doesn’t command the respect that it should. Why don’t cops look cool? True the hardcore ones that are decked out like G.I. Joes that look pretty cool, they probably have a fancier gun then their PO-lice counterparts. Still though, once they tell punish you for your misbehavior, all that action hero mystique melts back into the pile of gay.

However, cops do get front row seats to all the local excitement. Car crashes, break-ins, white-trash domestic disputes. If I were a cop I’d totally milk my ability to access to all the gossipy issues in the area. I also bet the getting to be a tricky-po in an unmarked car is great fun on the highway. What an interesting breed of creature, too bad I had to pay $84 to get near to one.

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One Response to “Run in with the Po-Po”

  1. Ashley said

    Zero tolerance!!

    And for the upteenth time, it’s ZAC AND MIRI! Remember when you asked for tickets to Nick and Mira? You’re not very cool sometimes.

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